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“I’m trying to have a voice, and I want that voice to reach as many people as it can,” he said. “I mean, look at me. I’m black. I’m gay. I’m like a quadruple minority, and I feel like a little piece of me resides in everybody. Maybe there’s a kid out there who doesn’t think he’s OK, and he can look at me and say, ‘OK, he played college basketball. He went overseas. He has a music career and now he’s living his life. Now he’s who he wants to be and he’s happy and confident and comfortable.’ It’s my responsibility to talk about that.”

“I’m prepared to cut the grass and let the snakes show themselves,” he said. “I don’t need people who won’t be supportive. I have a career that I’ve earned. I have friends whose respect I’ve gained. I have this music thing that I’ve started. If you don’t want to be in that conversation, then I just won’t have the conversation with you. I’m proud of who I am.”

The video shows a confident young man who has obviously moved on with his life—and is glad he did. He sums up his father’s reaction in a few sentences (“fast forward the film/jump cut”) where he came out and his father accepted him. Dana O’Neil’s recounting is far more intense—it’s obvious the father has not precisely moved on. As a Therapist, you often get to see people when their lives/movies have entered into a “loop,” and they don’t move forward. The trauma of their lives keeps replaying. They get “stuck.”

By Ty Noland

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