“My fiancé cheated on me and now he wants me to forgive him and take him back. What should I do?
CJ LewisThe answer to this question lies deep inside your heart of hearts, not in the shallows of your mind’s eye. The mere fact that you are asking yourself (and us) this question lets us know that on some level you do want to take him back. It seems you’re stuck in the middle of the age-old war between the rational mind and irrational trappings of the heart. Your heart is telling you to do one thing while your mind is telling you the exact opposite. As simple as you may want the answer to be, we know that there are no simple answers when it comes to affairs of the heart.First and foremost, you have to suspend all fear of what other people will think of your decision. Allowing the biased opinions of your friend’s to sway you in either direction is a recipe for disaster. It will always leave you wondering ‘What if?” Besides, who cares what they think? This is your life to live, not theirs. Sure, it would be easy for them to say “No, don’t let that cheating bastard back into your life!” or “Yes, take him back! Men will be men. That does not mean he doesn’t love you!”, because they are removed from the situation and from him. The truth is simple: YOU have to decide what you want.

We employ you to ask yourself a few questions before coming to your conclusion: What challenges are you willing to deal with in your relationship? Why did he cheat? Outside of the cheating incident, how was the relationship? Is taking him back worth it?

People cheat for many reasons and while your partner betrayed your trust with his scandalous rendezvous, and there is no excuse for that behavior, you have to ask yourself what role you played in the situation. Before you all jump to conclusions and condemn us for blaming the victim, hear us out. More often than not, both parties share at least some responsibility when there is infidelity on either’s part. Whether it is neglect, lack of intimacy, the failure to listen, or the failure to be heard, etc., one is typically seeking that which his/her partner lacks when this type of behavior occurs.

Again, your partner should have never cheated, but you must dig deeper to try and discover what the real issue was. If it’s one of those rare cases where the relationship was perfect and he just couldn’t keep his penis in his pants, well then you must ask yourself if that is something you are willing to deal with because chances are he won’t change. But if it isn’t, this is a chance to redefine the parameters of your relationship and start anew. Who knows, maybe you’ll discover a new side of you and him!

Love Works With Juan & Gee

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