Randolph Garrett'

When it comes to dating, you’ll find that some dates are a hit and others are a complete mess.  Even though you may get along with someone through emails and messages, it may not be the same in person. The two of you don’t click at all!  This can easily make for an awkward meeting or date (there is a difference between a meeting and a dating). A Meeting -Your first interaction, informal, no expectations, a prerequisite for a date.  A Date-a planned meeting in a public (recommended)  or private setting, with the intent to have meaningful dialogue with an event surrounding it(lunch, dinner or social event perhaps). If you find yourself in the position of an extremely awkward date, here are some tips to help you through it or out of it.

TRY TO INITIATE 

One of the most awkward times during a date is when no one has anything to say. Ask questions or talk a little about yourself, but don’t go overboard. You can talk about movies, food, and your interests or if you dare HIV status.

DON’T WHIP OUT YOUR PHONE

Unless you texting a friend the address of where you are located cause you don’t feel safe, don’t pull out your phone. This includes texting, checking Facebook, playing Words with Friends, Ruzzle or anything else like that. Even worse, don’t call your friend and start a conversation or be online planning your next meeting. Though it’ll probably be hard, try to keep your focus on the date.

DON’T LEAD HIM ON

If you’re just not into him, don’t make him think you are because not only are you setting yourself up for another bad date, you’re making him think you’re interested in some fashion. At the end of the date, the last thing you want to do is propose or accept a second date.

DON’T BLAME YOURSELF

If a date goes badly, you may be inclined to play the blame game and in the end start pointing the finger at yourself. “I shoulda known, he didn’t send a face pic..”  It takes two to tango and with any date, it’s never just one person’s fault if things don’t go as good as you had hoped. Don’t at all feel bad about a failed date because you learn something from every experience.

MAKE A DEADLINE..

If right off the bat you know you’re not interested in this guy, you can easily make up a deadline as to when the date ends. Instead of spending hours together, tell him that you can only stay for an hour because something important came up. The best excuse: “Well I gotta work in the morning..” A little white lie isn’t a horrible thing, but at least you gave him some of your time.

MAKE SURE YOU’RE NOT BEING OVERLY CRITICAL

A date can go downhill if you’re being really critical of the guy you’re out with. If he’s not wearing his Sunday’s best,  if he doesn’t have a car or Master’s degree. .. Keep an open mind and make sure that you aren’t internally being way too critical of him.

AVOID BEING FLIRTY WITH SOMEONE ELSE

Maybe there’s a hot trade across the room or maybe your waiter is some serious eye candy. Whatever it is, save the flirting for after the date. Keep the winks and stares to yourself until the date has come to a close.

FIGURE OUT WHY IT’S GOING BADLY

Not all dates are doomed if they start off badly. Are you nervous? Is he? If you can sense that something is wrong and it’s something that can be easily fixed, it never hurts to just start over. A bad date doesn’t have to go down the drain completely, especially if you know there is a way to turn it around.

PLAY MATCHMAKER

Even though you’re on a date with this guy, if you’re not into him but you know one of your friends would like him, why not let him know? Playing matchmaker on your own date sounds weird, but it could go really well. If he’s a bit too shy for you but you know he’d mesh well with a friend of yours, try setting them up.

END THE DATE NICELY

In a Big, Small city (Atlanta) you will see them again.. No matter how bad the date went, you always want to end it nicely. It’s not a good idea to just walk out or diss him. Explain the situation, end it, and go on with the rest of your day. If all else fails and you’re just really annoyed and uncomfortable with the date, you can just end it early.

BY Michael Lowe

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