Historically, because gay and lesbian relationships were not culturally acceptable, many LGBT people didn’t believe that acting on their same-sex attraction or desires, was the “right” thing. They did not believe that marriage was an option for them because it wasn’t. Now marriage equality law has passed nationwide, and more people accept LGBT relationships as serious relationships that are comparable to heterosexual relationships. Yet, marriage for LGBT people can be difficult because it involves announcing to the world not only their desire for, but their commitment to their same-sex significant other. Gay marriage may also symbolize to un-accepting friends and family, the finality of their loved one’s sexual orientation.

People can be non-committal for various reasons (for example, they might feel they haven’t found the right one), but non-commitment for LGBT people is often psychologically protective, depending on which coming-out stage they are in. Years of discrimination and prejudice against LGBT people often resulted in the notion among LGBT people: “I can have the sex without the love, because this relationship will not be something I can commit to.” The result was a lot of casual and many times, risky sexual relationships among closeted as well as “out” LGBT people.

To avoid the finality of sexual orientation, some GLBT people present themselves as not being committed to their sexual orientation or as not committed to the lifestyle. There are still many “fake” marriages between two opposite sex partners (between a man and woman who are both LGBT). Some LGBT people are married to opposite sex partners while having secret affairs with same-sex partners.

Sometimes even commitment issues seen in openly gay people are aspects of this “holding back.” While being able to proudly present themselves as openly gay in certain arenas, many LGBT people may find themselves partly forced back into the closet in others, attempting to maintain peace and harmony with family, etc. In these times, they may opt to present themselves as not being committed to their same-sex lover(s) in an effort to avert the finality of their sexual orientation. They may believe that the same-sex affairs are okay, as long as they don’t commit to the lifestyle.
‪#‎GLBT‬ ‪#‎Marriage‬ ‪#‎LGBT‬ ‪#‎BlackMarriage‬ ‪#‎gay‬ ‪#‎lesbian‬ ‪#‎comingout‬‪#‎LGBTQ‬ ‪#‎QPOC‬ ‪#‎Queer‬

Have you experienced this? Please leave your comments below!

By Leslie Heartz.

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